35/50 Keeping It Together
1. Angry yogis
I’ve noticed over the last week or so a new person in class whose frustration is quite vocal. There is a lot of huffing and puffing and sighing and outright groaning. It doesn’t actually bother me for some reason (you know I’d be ALL over it if it did), but I do wonder what this person is cross about. I think they might be new-ish and I get that it can definitely feel tricky when the instructions might not be as clear as you’d like and the language itself, interspersed with Sanskrit, can sound as woo woo as a woo woo thing.
(Although of course there are angry yogis which is why we probably yoga. To state the obvious.)
Today though I decided this person was upset with themselves.* That they’re not ‘getting it right’ or maybe comparing their practice to those around them. And yes, I know we’re all told not to do that but if we’re honest, there are times when that’s exactly how a class plays out.
I wanted to give them a signal that it’s okay, we’re all in this together. You know, a little smile, maybe a nod of encouragement.
It did not go well.
My face ached from smiling and the whole energy situation was not conducive to a happy ending, very possibly because my interpretation of the situation was 100 percent wrong. Whaaaat? Thankfully the days of needing everyone to like me are over or this poor person might have become someone I ‘helped’. For now though, I’ll just park myself near some quiet non-mouth breathers, do my own thing and remember that not all yogis waft around with sparkles emitting from every orifice.
Except me.
*Projecting much? Why, yes. Yes I am.
2. Angry birds
A lot of car yoga went on today. I had coffee, a snack and an early birthday gift of delicious chocolate goodies so was a leeeeetle slow getting back in the house and into work. If my phone battery didn’t run out I could’ve spent the day quite happily picnicking and scrolling through Insta stories of baby sloths.
Also I’m a professional.
The day took a terrible turn though when I took all of the three steps from car to door (drives my husband crazy that I park on the doorstep) and was attacked by a large, low flying hawk. Or it might have been a sparrow but I was in shock.
Anyway, it pooped on me.
3. Angry Jane
Which leads me to the rest of the day. A day, which frankly, could’ve been better.
My laptop wouldn’t start. I googled appropriate things like, ‘my laptop won’t start’, and tried all sorts of combinations with no luck. I called the IT guy and we went through more stuff that I don’t know how to explain because, oh my god, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE WORDS MEAN.
I got a tiny bit annoyed. I called my partner in life who you’d think would want to drop everything and help. He did not.
I messaged my daughter who you’d think would answer immediately. She did not.
I was this close to contacting talk-back radio.
My laptop is still not fixed and I’m writing this on a crappy old PC and I have a newsletter to get out and events to post and emails to answer. Basically I felt entitled to be incredibly pissed off, with everything and everyone.
Except I’m not. Well, not too much. True it might be the drugs (happy pills/anti-anxiety/sleeping tablets although not all at once) but I took some time out, moved my beautiful crystal lamp over to the other desk and here I am: An absolute picture of health, wellness and tranquility tap tapping away with nary a care in the world. (However I WILL cry if any more emails come through tonight – just a little heads up.)
Do you think we’re so programmed now NOT to feel angry that it’s considered a bad emotion? When really, it’s an emotion, nothing more, nothing less. Thoughts?
Photo by Roland Seifert
© The Yoga Connection 2017