3/50 Sex Talks And Chocolate Almonds

1. Saturday

It’s Saturday. Day of hope, possibilities and coffee. I’m all for it and hope you get your proper and well-deserved Saturday fix too. Even if we have to work to do and loos to clean. Sigh. Also I have eaten exactly 42 dark chocolate almonds.

2. Jane is a great baby name – just saying

I’ve going to a baby shower today. Yet again, I’ve offered up my name as a great option and yet again, I’ve been gently turned down. Well, not that gently because everyone seems to expect me to put it out there (gossipers and slanderers!) but I’ll continue to throw it out to the universe. Through very reliable sources I heard it’s become quite the go-to name in Brooklyn, NY at the moment. Along with dressing your babe like Little House on the Prairie.

3. Ask me anything!

I read this awesome article about talking about sex with your daughter, particularly if you’re of the Mormon faith. I’m not but man; I could’ve done with this back in the day. In theory my husband and I were all set. She could ask us anything! We would always talk naturally and openly in front of her! Nothing was ever off-limits and we would be honest, even about our possible discomfort or horrendous mistakes we’d made (ahem)!

We were thinking around 18 would be a good time to chat.

But when she was almost three she asked me as we were driving along a stately street in Christchurch (Merivale!) how to make a baby and I (oh, how I wish this were different), I got the giggles, hysterically crying/laughing and at the same time trying to attempt to tell her. Using the proper words and all. Turns out all she actually wanted to know was what hospital they had to use. Sadly, every further conversation started from a place of UNEXPECTED – driving down K’ Rd to school and her asking me what sort of ‘toys’ adults played with, sounding out the word ‘masturbation’ from a newspaper. Beautiful childhood memories of me losing my motherly cool and snorting like a perv.

I guess I wouldn’t name a baby after me either…

But I AM available to be a bridesmaid should anyone need me.

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Leave me some love, tell me your parenting skills are as good as mine. Just please don’t really ask me how babies are made…

Photo by Janko Ferlic 

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