19/50 Every. Single. Thing.

By admin | August 14, 2017 |

1. Rejection

So, I put myself out there and it didn’t work out.

And I’m ok, ~~I think~~.

Firstly, yoga. I know, I know, but really, for me, my response to certain emotive situations has been hugely, magnificently helped by my practice. I breathe in, I breathe out, I acknowledge what I’m feeling and I carry on.

Not always so smoothly but today (considering, if I’m being absolutely honest, I thought I had it in the bag) my immediate response was to quickly click out of the email, followed by a fleeting moment of shame.

Ah, shame. You ruled my life for a long time. This time though, there was no place for you. I’d done nothing to be ashamed of except try something new.

I made myself go back to the email, reply and then carry on procrastinating as per norm.

Now THAT is kind of something to embarrassed about. I work like I’m still a uni student. Rad.

2. Comfort

Once I would’ve gone straight for the crap food. I’m not going to use the term emotional eating because I think food can be emotional in a not-bad way. Unless you’re a robot there’s a whole world of sensory goodness out there, whether in a family bag of Peanut M&M’s or a detox salad.

No soup though. Ugh

The difference is I’m aware of what sends me spiralling down that self-destructive hole of mindlessly going for the M&M’s. Nowadays I can still easily keep eating after I’m full, I just choose better foods. Again, yoga. My body lets me know what works for me on the mat.

Dark chocolate works fine.

3. Numbers

I’ve been around for 18,230 days exactly.

I am 49 years, 10 months, 30 days and 7 hours old.

In one month and 16 days I will be 50.

These are a LOT of numbers that make up me. I know there’ll be more rejection and sweet comfort (in all sorts of ways, I love you, Netflix) to come. I’m ready.

Best thing about getting older? Every. Single. Thing.

I feel better just talking it out with you lovely people. Anyone I can lend some comfort to?

Photo by Michał Grosicki

Posted in Fifty Posts